Scott's journal.

NOM.

2009-06-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

The GOOD kind.

As in this clip I made of Mollie, Pennie & Bonnie earlier today! LOL:

Hi to my friends in the blogging community - sorry it's been forever!!!

Minnie: Cat Nap

2008-11-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

These turned out so cute, I had to share them: my youngest kitty, Minnie, taking a cat nap in one of their many beds (found at gay-friendly Walgreens! LOL):

A Sign From Gawd

2008-11-24T16:33:00.000-08:00

From WhySocietyIsDumb.....

"People are actually screaming in horror over a statue. Not laughing hysterically. SCREAMING!

St. George Statue Falls and is Beheaded in Church Amid Screams when some old guys can't hold it up much longer."

******************

And for those of you who can't get enough of the destruction, here's my own short remix: the "one smash isn't good enough" version! LOL

Don't Pray For Me, Randy

2008-10-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, NG blogged that Exodus International VP Randy Thomas mentioned a heckler video of mine, which has actually been on YouTube for several months.

There's SO many things wrong with Randy's post, that I'd have to waste several hours correcting his novel collection of lies and bullshit in just that one single post. It's not worth that amount of time, and neither is he.

But I would like to address a couple things (Randy's text in red):

"Someone sent me a video that was a very creative waste of time. It had a bunch of talking I didn’t quite understand and then was sort of a slideshow of photos"

You SHOULD know whose voice that is.

"The person who made the video was the same person who made an earlier video which compared me to the Pillsbury Dough Boy Monster out of the move Ghost Busters. They implied that I needed to be destroyed like that monster was."

You're wrong. I didn't imply that you "needed" to be destroyed. I implied you WILL be destroyed. And that's not a threat - it's a promise.

And his name is Stay-Puft.

"It reminded me of what I have always believed to be true about stigmatization. It doesn’t work and always backfires on the ones perpetrating the stigma. Whether it backfires today or in a generation … stigmas always backfire on the ones who perpetrate them. I have watched it happen time and again … on both sides. I don’t believe in karma but I do believe in reaping what you sow."

Good. Then you should understand part of the reason why the video was made in the first place. For many years, you have publicly stigmatized gay people - and this is just a sample of the backlash you'll be receiving. You've watched it happen time and again, and now you can experience it for yourself. Buckle up.

"The strange part is those who play that game don’t usually see the toll it is taking on them personally."

You mean like the migraines you're always complaining about?

"Some people would say that my sharing the negatives I experienced when I identified as gay is stigmatizing. I don’t agree".

Guess what? It IS stigmatizing; especially when you try to make your "bad experiences" sound like ALL gay people have been through your alleged drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and so forth.

And for those of us who did have a partying phase, we don't blame our homosexuality as to why some of us went off the deep end - myself included. I personally got over it, moved on, and simply will never put myself in that position again. You, on the other hand, LIVE to talk about this period of your life. For pay, at that.

"Granted I’ve said some things that might have come across harsh or stuck my foot in my mouth from time to time… but my heart’s intent, truly, was never to stigmatize."

Again, the famous lies of Randy Thomas.

Let's go back to something Randy himself said not long ago:

"There isn’t a proven widespread pattern of discrimination for those who identify as gay either. But the point of this post and [the statistics presented in the post] are proof that not only do those who identify as gay compete for good salaries very well… they get them. The gay identified community is the most prosperous, median salary wise, community in the country."

Sound familiar?

"Fifty-two out of every 100 doctors were Jews. Of every 100 merchants, 60 were Jews. The average wealth of Germans was 810 marks; the average wealth of Jews 10,000 marks." (from the Nazi film The Eternal Jew)

And if that's not enough, Randy Thomas's organization and homepage links to The Pink Swastika, by a known holocaust revisionist. The book accuses homosexuals of being responsible for the Nazi holocaust of WWII, even though homosexuals were one of the first groups targeted by the Nazi's to be thrown into concentration camps, and received some of the worst treatment, even after liberation.

I don't know about you, but I take great offense that Randy Thomas outright accuses me of being responsible for the deaths of an estimated 6 million Jews, along with homosexuals, gypsies, political prisoners, and many other groups the Nazi's were determined to exterminate.

It's threats like this which I take personal. Randy Thomas is obviously trying to stir up the same anti-gay sentiment which the Nazi's had for the Jews, and I don't think it's funny. And in my personal opinion, when you threaten me, you threaten my friends, my family, my pets, and anyone else who's important to me.

If the GLBT community has any sense, each individual should feel equally as threatened, and join me when I verbally attack Mr. Thomas. And the longer Randy continues to link me to the deaths of all of those innocent people, the more furious I'm going to be when the next attack comes.

I'm willing to make a deal with Randy, although I will never converse with him 1-on-1. If he stops linking gay people to the WWII holocaust, by removing that fucked-up link from Exodus, then I'll cool down. Keep the link up, then I'll keep it up with the attacks. The choice is all up to Randy Thomas.

"I hope this doesn’t sound self-righteous but while I might pray for those who stigmatize, I don’t worry about people who do things like the maker of this video. I truly don’t. Compassion? … absolutely. Pity? … not an ounce."

Please don't have either for me. If anything, I pity your future.

And don't pray for me either, because I don't believe in fairy tales.

The Weirdest Thing Happened This Weekend.....

2008-07-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

After having dinner with some friends this past Friday, I went over to Entertainmart, which is a fairly huge new/used music and movies store.

I had already been shopping around for about 30 minutes, and while I was looking through some CD's, this young Indian (or possibly Hispanic) girl approached me.

The young lady handed me her business card, and without so much as a "hello", tried to get me to follow her outside of the store, for a "psychic reading". The way she was acting, was like I had already pre-paid for the service, and she was ready to get started.

She was already walking towards the door, and I had to call her back, to hand her back the card, and flat-out told her "I'm not into that shit!". And then she took back her card, and walked out.

I don't know who the fuck she thought she was trying to con! I'm not 100% familiar with that area, but I know there's no psychic reading place in that tiny shopping center.

My suspicion was that she was looking for a sucker to bring outside, likely to a car, to be jumped and robbed (beings it WAS after dark). Nice try - I might be country and formerly naive, but I've lived in the city for a decade now.

It's bad enough you get spam email and phone calls from idiots trying to sell you things you don't want or need, but a bitch nowadays can't even buy a Jefferson Airplane album without being harrassed by WALKING advertisements, trying to sell you entertainment, like psychic readings.

Besides - if I want some nutball to make up a bunch of bullshit about my future at the top of their head, I'll go talk to a "christian" - for free.

New Pennie & Bonnie Pictures: Dirty Rotten Kitty

2008-07-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

While Pennie is looking all cute and innocent here.....

....Bonnie is chewing away at her "dirty rotten kitty", on the bed. This is their 2nd kitty, as the first got mangled and de-stuffed:

It's a good thing my REAL kitties stay at home! LOL

Congratulations Kevin & Doug!

2008-07-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to fellow blogging friend, Dr. Kevin Kaatz, and his partner Doug, on their recent marriage and ceremony.

According to Kevin, they had their ceremony last Friday, and Sunday was the reception. They'll be spending 4 days in West Hollywood later this week - have fun, guys!

Feel free to stop by and offer Kevin and Doug your well wishes.

And here's a picture Kevin gave me permission to pass along - What a cute couple! ;):

Ace In The (Glory)Hole

2008-07-21T03:35:00.000-07:00

These playing cards gives the Poker term "ace in the hole" a whole new meaning:

Gay Republican Cards (website)

What better way to obsess over the "homosexual agenda", while playing with a deck of these queens?

New Mollie, Pennie & Bonnie Pictures

2008-07-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Mollie got to take a ride in her owner's new car.

The 4th picture is Bonnie - who's quickly growing. The last picture is Mollie with Pennie.

My Kitty Chasing After The Wrong Mouse!

2008-06-18T01:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I continued scanning a few of my older paper-printed photographs, as I would like to eventually have them all digitized for safekeeping.

Here's one of them: a cute picture of my oldest cat, back when she was a few months old:

PS: To readers, sorry I haven't blogged in a long time - but will for sure specifically make time this coming weekend.

Impatient Bonnie Helps Herself To IAMS

2008-05-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Here's some brand new pictures taken of Bonnie just yesterday, who's now a 6 month old baby Great Pyrenees.

Now she's gotten into the habit of flying into the garage when you open the door, to fill up the bowls for all three of them - and just diving headfirst, right into the IAMS bag. She's already pulled this trick on me AT LEAST three times - she's a quick little shit, just totally bypasses you!

And trust me, these spoiled babies aren't starving - especially because they get several Milk Bone treats a day! LOL

New Mollie, Pennie & Bonnie Pictures

2008-05-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

Here's some new pictures, of Bonnie adjusting to her new family.

Obviously she's picked up one of Pennie's favorite hobbies: playing in the mud!

My friends plan to soon have the carpet ripped up, and replaced with hardwood - as they done with having the downstairs tiled. It's impossible to keep your carpets spotless if you own a Great Pyrenees - and in this case, three! LOL

HELP I'VE FALLEN: Funny Snail Mail

2008-05-11T18:16:00.001-07:00

It's not very often I get snail mail that's so fucking hilarious, that I have to hang onto and share it.

This coupon-sized ad was sent in an envelope with several other silly ads (mail-order checks, local restaurants, personalized address labels, etc). I'll let the picture speak for itself.....

If A Christian And Muslim Were Hanging From A Cliff.....

2008-05-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

TommyfromtheBronx today asks if a "christian" and Muslim were hanging from a cliff and soon to fall to their deaths - and you (in this scenario, a "non-believer") had a 10 foot pole to save one of them, who would you save?:

Myself, as a "non-believer" AND gay, would take the pole and start beating the crap out of BOTH of their hands, until they both let go and plunged to their rightful doom.

If you save the "christian", his version of thanking you would be trying to get you thrown into quack "ex-gay" therapy; and if you save the Muslim, he'd just start chasing after you with a dagger. So fuck 'em both, and good riddance. G'bye!

Besides, I remember a while back, when "christians" were asked if he/she was drowning in quicksand, and a gay person found them and offered to help, most of the "christians" responded that they wouldn't accept the help from a gay person. Funny enough, when I was "coming out", I asked my hysterical parents the same question, and they answered the same way.

And my reply to that, of course, was that I'd step on their head and push them the rest of the way down, if they were going to be like that.

Your wish is my command!

So my answer to Tommy, is "NEITHER ONE".

Kitty Photoblogging: Minnie

2008-04-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

Beings Mollie, Pennie and Bonnie are more cooperative with picture-taking LOL, I've mostly posted photos of those 3. But I do have 3 kitties myself, and I'm locating all of my pictures, which happen to be mixed up somewhere in my bermuda data DVD-R folders.

Here's some cute pictures of my youngest cat, Minnie. She was found via the in-store "classifieds" wall at Petsmart, and adopted in May 2004, at 5-6 weeks old.

These pictures were taken on the first night she was brought home - and she still does this cute pose in the first picture, usually after taking a cat-nap:

More cute GLBT kitties:

Wayne Besen's kitty

Joe.My.God.'s kitty, "Shelley"

Photoblogging: Last Night's Hail Storm

2008-04-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

We had a massive hail storm last night! Here's some pictures sent in from my neighbor friends, of some of their yard and vehicle damage. I would say it was the craziest hailstorm I've experienced in my lifetime (you couldn't even hear over the phone!).

Take a look for yourself:

The Story Of Chicken Little Republican

2008-03-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

Gather round, "conservative" children - and enjoy my adaptation of this Aesop Fable classic:

CHICKEN LITTLE REPUBLICAN

What was once a peaceful barnyard turned into chaos, when a little busybody named Chicken Little Republican moved into the coop. Chicken Little Republican had no life or hobbies, so he was always starting up shit with the rest of the animals.

It was bad enough that Foxy Loxy was in the area, and everyone was trying to build a fence to keep him out.

Everyone, except Chicken Little Republican. He had an imaginary friend (a talking pig, or something), that "spoke to him", and told him "other things" were more important. Chicken Little Republican also believed that everyone in the barnyard should focus on the "important issues" which his imaginary friend told him to do.

The first issue that Chicken Little Republican raised hell about was "Henny Penny and the other chickens are having abortions", because they had not been laying as many eggs lately.

Because the animals in the barnyard were stupid, Chicken Little Republican informed everyone all about abortions, and had everyone convinced that the hens were, in fact, having abortions.

Then Henny Penny and the other chickens became social outcasts in the barnyard.

What Chicken Little Republican didn't tell them was chickens lay less eggs towards the end of the year, along with daylight savings time - and the current season was fall.

That night, Foxy Loxy easily walked into the barnyard, because everyone was focusing on the hens having "abortions", and they didn't finish the fence to keep him out. Foxy sneaked into a coop, disemboweled Turkey Lurkey, and dragged his dead body to his den.

The next issue that Chicken Little Republican brought up, quite loudly, was his accusation that Ducky Lucky and Cocky Locky were "homosexuals", because they both napped on the same hay stack in the barn.

Again, Chicken Little Republican made up his story as he went along, as he informed the other stupid animals about their horrifying "homosexual relationship" - a relationship so demonic, it could make his imaginary talking pig friend annihilate the entire farm!

This scared everyone in the barnyard, so they turned against Ducky and Cocky, and they became outcasts too.

That night, Foxy Loxy again sneaked into the barnyard, scared Holey Moley into a fatal heart attack, and dragged his body off to his den. Unfortunately the fence was still not yet complete, because the animals were focusing on "homosexuals".

This continued for a long time - Chicken Little Republican accused Goosey Loosey of "being into golden showers", and felt it was very necessary to inform everyone in the barnyard all about animals pissing on each other for pleasure.

This again scared the barnyard, and Goosey joined the outcasts.

It didn't take long at all, before pretty much EVERYONE in the barnyard were social outcasts, except for self-righteous Chicken Little Republican, himself.

That night, everyone in the barnyard teamed up, and knocked Chicken Little Republican the fuck out, totally unconscious.

While he was out, the animals tied Chicken Little Republican to a flagpole in the center of the barnyard, but Cocky Locky didn't think that was quite good enough. So he ran into his coop, returned with paper and a bow, and they gift wrapped the little busybody son-of-a-bitch.

The next morning, by the flagpole, the animals discovered nothing but feathers, a dildo, and also a copy of Trans-sexual Chicks magazine, which both apparently belonged to Chicken Little Republican, and fell out of his pocket as Foxy Loxy was dragging him off to his den.

That day, the animals finished building their fence, and never heard from Foxy, and even better, Chicken Little Republican, ever again. They had better things to focus on, and stupid hysterical busybody shit wasn't one of them.

THE END

Bonnie Is Here

2008-03-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'll post more pictures later, but I wanted to go on and show you Mollie and Pennie's new little baby sister, as of this past Saturday: Bonnie Blue (a TX state reference). This Pyrenees puppy is also a SPIN rescue.

She's already been trying on the Easter bunny ears:

Mollie, Pennie, and ?

2008-03-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

Her name is Bonnie (perfect match); and yes, they're getting a 3rd, and I assume final Great Pyrenees.....for now LOL

Mollie & Pennie: "Born To Be Wild" [YouTube]

Fundie Fun & A Surprise From Wacko Jacko

2008-02-27T04:54:00.000-08:00

A little fun for your Wednesday.....

This comic is so true - those who spout anti-gay rhetoric, while calling themselves "normal" (in comparison to the gay community), ALWAYS looks like this bible-thumping kooky bunch.

Sorry guys; believe it or not, I consider myself WAY more normal than some miserable homosex-obsessed inbred hillbilly lunatic, whose 2 favorite quotes are "God hates fags!", and "If you can't fuck yer sister, who CAN you fuck?".

This picture always cracks me up - the look on the female fundie's face is just priceless:

Lastly, how would you like to wake up one morning, with this in your MySpace inbox?

Mollie & Pennie: Saga Of The Dirty Rawhide Bone

2008-02-25T00:27:00.000-08:00

Being a "pet person", I enjoy hilarious pet stories, and my neighbor friends sent me some new pictures of Mollie and Pennie's hilarious Pyrenees antics from last week. My neighbor followed them with a camera all morning (when they're most hyper and acting silly), as what she described was a "saga" going on the entire time. It's too cute, and I have to pass their story along..........

The day before, Mollie was given a rawhide bone, and Pennie snatched it from her, and buried it outside. Pennie later dug it up, and had it while she and Mollie were wrestling around the next morning (and yes, Jaws has already gotten ahold of the corner of the stairs, as you'll clearly notice):

Both girls are locked onto the rawhide bone, but Pennie isn't about to give it up. She was chewing on it in front of Mollie, and basically saying "it's mine!", like a kid would do.

As she was leaving for work, my neighbor called Mollie and Pennie into the bedroom. At some point, Mollie quietly leaves the room, goes into the hallway, and scoops up the bone at the top of the stairs, where Pennie left it.

Realizing what she had forgotten, Pennie gets this "oh shit!" look on her face, and dashes away to get it. She didn't find the bone, but instead Mollie in the closest bathroom, sitting facing the shower, wedged in between a hamper and the toilet, where Pennie couldn't get around her, or anywhere near the bone (note: I'm not going to show off a person's toilet to the world, and erased that out LOL!).

All Pennie could do, was sit behind Mollie and sulk. Obviously the smaller the rawhide bone got, the sadder Pennie got. Awwwww........

Too cute! If you're not a "pet person", or "dog person", you wouldn't understand!

All Mollie and Pennie posts

Pennie The Piglet Part II

2008-02-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

Oh no she didn't! (continued from Part I)

My neighbors are smart to keep older covers over their bed!! Look at the mess she made!

All I can say is it takes a REAL "pet person" to deal with raising a Great Pyrenees. We can't wait until Pennie gets a little older and more laid-back and calmer, like Mollie.

But then again, it's pretty fucking cute and hilarious! They're only a puppy once, have fun with it while it lasts....and if that's not enough, they're considering adopting one last Great Pyrenees, preferably a baby male Pyrenees puppy (a little younger than Pennie, when she was first adopted).

Pennie The Piglet Part I

2008-02-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned several times, my Pyrenees puppy neighbor friend, Pennie, is bad about getting into dirt and mud. My nickname for her is "piglet", and she's worse than Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics.

On Saturday, we had a pretty bad thunder and hail storm - and Pennie obviously had a ball afterwards! My neighbors sent these to share, last night - her muddiest yet! And it gets much worse; I had to split these hilarious pictures into two post volumes (Part II coming soon).

Poor Mollie! She could be bad when she was Pennie's age, but nowhere near as filthy as this little piglet. Even worse that when Pennie gets dirty, she wrestles with Mollie, and gets her dirty too!

New Mollie & Pennie Pix - 2/13/2008

2008-02-13T17:55:00.000-08:00

Once again, more Mollie & Pennie pix:

Pennie has the "begging" look down (learned from Mollie, of course).

Cute!

Pennie, once again filthy. When she plays outside, there's a good chance she'll get into dirt, mud, or both!

Smalltown Church Stories I

2008-02-06T12:58:00.000-08:00

(another one from the original blog, similar to the Pentecostal Zombies trilogy - I'll have to someday soon continue this "series"):

SMALLTOWN CHURCH STORIES 1

From birth to high school graduation, I attended a smalltown baptist church, in which a good majority of my family also were members. There's so many things to tell about that little holy house of hypocrisy - the backstabbing and talking about other members behind their backs, among other things.

One young member, Kristin, who was a year younger than myself, was her mother's church talent puppet. Every few weeks, Kristin was forced to bring up her boom box to the front podium, and share her "talent" with the congregation. This went on for as long as I known the girl to be a church member; over a decade. And what a torturous decade it was......

There was only one problem: Kristin couldn't sing, to save her life. I'm not poking fun or being unnecessarily mean - the girl sounded like a dying vulture. Not a single note was in tune, or as Simon Cowell would say, "it was all over the place". Even William Hung was more tolerable, and I'm being dead serious.

The best description of her "singing style" is it sounded like she was reading the lyrics aloud as the instrumental music played along, with a nervous, scratchy and unsure voice.

When our pastor would randomly surprise us with the news of a performance on a Sunday, it was like the entire congregation who heard Kristin sing before had to brace themselves. When the music started and Kristin began her hoarse speak-singing, everyone was either stiff as a board, were sliding down in the pews, were covering their faces to hide their expressions, or were totally jaw-on-floor with horrified looks on their faces.

Many church visitors who showed up for one of her many, many performances never came back - and I don't blame them.

One Sunday, Kristin (or should I say her zombie homely Crystal Gayle with no makeup mother) selected the tune "Silver And Gold" by Dolly Parton (not the song from the popular Rudolph movie). It's a performance even my brother remembers quite well and reminds me of from time to time, complete with an impersonation.

Her singing sounded like something had been shot, and was dying of agony.

I tried everything to get her ghastly wailing voice out of my head - from laying down in the pew and closing my eyes, to thinking of dead kittens and other horrible things, to keep from laughing.

With her grand finale of screeching "siiiiiiilveeeeeer aaaand goooooooolllld", I just totally lost it and burst out laughing. I was so embarrassed that I had to step outside and get some fresh air.

It's no surprise that Kristin packed her shit and fled from home the moment she was legally old enough to leave. I felt sorry for the girl, because she knew she couldn't sing, but was pretty much forced to perform anyway.

Had she lip-synced or something, it may have been a different story.

More smalltown church stories later..........

What Hell Is REALLY Like

2008-02-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

(Here's an old favorite of mine from the original blog.....)

I think it's a good thing that people like Falwell, Chambers, Santorum, Harp, Wildmon, Bennett, Dobson, and these other wastes of flesh have hijacked and claimed Christianity for their own lunatic selves, with their own loony versions of Christianity; and they use it to chase people out of churches everywhere.

I hope this continues, because the loonier they get, the more people who will leave their nutty churches and seek alternate forms of religion and spirituality, or forget religion entirely. It's already happening, and Christianity will eventually become a minority - it's the reason why these nutballs are organizing more and getting louder and crazier (as if that's helping matters any).

These people go around screeching and telling 95% of the people they meet "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!", cursing them with fire and brimstone, no drop of water to cool their tongue, and all this other fucked up shit that could only be made up on an acid trip - which is pretty much spot-on, since most of these guys are obviously on some serious meds.

If you want to get people scared of going to hell (which doesn't exist, by the way), you need to REALLY scare them.

I personally don't believe in hell, but if I did, it would have nothing to do with fire, lava, screaming demons, Satan, and all these other doped-up crock of shit scare tactics.

To me, hell would be like.....

The only music available is country. And not just ANY country music - I'm talking about cousin-fucking redneck anthems like "Chatahoochee", "Watermelon Crawl", "Boot Scootin Boogie", "Achy Breaky Heart", "Strawberry Wine" and the complete Randy Travis catalog.

The only food is brussels sprouts.

The only alcohol is that cheap $6 Puerto Rican rum that'll give you a major fucking hangover the next day.

The only weed is shitty 5 year old stale shake, that won't even give you a buzz!

The only shows on TV are Friends, Wonder Years, Full House, and America's Funniest People (when Dave Coulier was the co-host).

The only movie playing is Brokeback Mountain.

All of the men are caucasian.

Now THAT'S scary!!!!!

The list goes on. I would much rather die and be bug food (the reality of death, and all that happens to you AFTER death) than have to put up with THAT bullshit!

Fuck that! And fuck hell!

Mollie & Pennie: New Pix 2/5/2008

2008-02-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

Because Mollie & Pennie are some of my photogenic favorites, I'm going to catalog all of the photoblogs to the right side for quick access. In addition to those, I'll include any future pix posts. Like this one.....

Here's some newer photos of Mollie & Pennie playing and cuddling in a hallway at their home:

Fundies Say The Darndest Things

2008-02-03T23:44:00.000-08:00

Take a look into the creepy minds of fundies and "christian" kooks, over on Fundies Say The Darndest Things - a website which collects some of the most outrageous and hilarious quotes from several of those kooks out there who profess to be "good christians".

After reading some of these "christian" lines from the "top 100 quotes" list, it comes as no surprise to me the reason why people are fleeing from the church and Christianity:

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

This lovely quote is from that old nutball of a coot, Pat Robertson. You know, the same Pat Robertson who aired an "ex-gay" story on the 700 Club recently, which turned out to be bogus - not to mention the "ex-gay" was bipolar and had been kidnapped by those fundies.

Funny how he takes the things the "christians" are doing to minorities, and switching it around as if they're the victims.

As a YouTube favorite of mine, Crosis, said on this issue: "it's not persecution - it's called BACKLASH".

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

Maybe the reason why he's so secretive is because he has a mother who appears to be both a lunatic, and sexually interested in her own son.

"What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay."

Needless to say, the son of this woman actually took his own life. Wanna bet dear ol' mom was pleased as punch over it, so long as her son wasn't a homosexual?

"Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that's not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it's hard not to lust whilst doing it."

Ok, so let me get this straight. It's totally fine to masturbate while I'm thinking about, say, music shopping, the American flag waving in the breeze, or thinking about that delicious white-chocolate mocha I like over at Starbucks?

But I'll go to hell if I'm masturbating to a Mario Lopez-on-Scott fantasy? You're kidding! That's pretty fucked up! I guess I'm going to hell, then, because I'm going to stick with Mario - NOT "how pretty flowers are".

I personally don't find tulips and sunflowers to be all that sexually enticing - nor the prospect of owning a new pet. "Christians" might. Not me! Oh wow, am I SO never trading Mario for flowers or puppies.

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

D'oh!

"Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish."

The stupidity! The stupid stupidity!

"I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals), since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?"

Wow! I know a few Atheists, and they are very much human - moreso than this so-called "christian" scum. It's not very "christian" to go around saying Atheists "have no value whatsoever as human beings". I thought Christians say EVERYONE is God's children, am I correct on that?

"The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished."

It's not the gays who are doing the "recruiting" - it's people like THIS woman who's doing the promotion for the gay community. Everything else this crazy "christian" bitch said would disgust REAL Christians. And what was that quote from Pat Robertson which I posted above?

"I think there are a lot more cases of people being agnostic or atheistic, but then getting off drugs in order to become Christians. I don't know any Christians who actually do drugs. That to me seems like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into."

I don't know about you, but I know of thousands of so-called "christians" who would be MUCH better off on some kind of medications, or drugs. For one, every "christian" who I've quoted so far are shining examples of why some drugs are good - and honestly, should be mandatory, in these cases especially.

"You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian."

That about sums up most "christians" in name only, huh?

Read these, and more from the "top 100 quotes" list here

FSTDT: February 2008 quotes

Website: Fundies Say The Darndest Things

Tribute To Taz

2008-01-27T21:27:00.000-08:00

Long before Pennie, and even long before Mollie joined their family, I met my neighbor friend's Catahoula Leopard, Taz, on Thanksgiving 2000 (along with Lady, their black Labrador, who passed away in 2004).

At first, I was intimidated by Taz's crazy and sometimes vicious temperament, but once he got used to me being over at their house at least once a week, we became good friends. He was known to bite somebody's hand once in a while, but not once ever showed his teeth or even growled at me.

Taz's dad nicknamed him "asshole", because of his hateful attitude - and not to mention every time when he saw another neighbor walking their dog(s) from the upstairs office room window, he'd take off flying downstairs, barking and bitching loud enough to wake the dead.

Last Halloween, Taz became ill, but he soon bounced back after a trip to the vet.

On the morning before Thanksgiving, I was to stop by their house, but hadn't yet read the emails from his owners: he was sick like he was on Halloween, once again. I knew something was strange when I arrived, because Taz hadn't answered the door, barking up a storm as usual, and Mollie hadn't ran to the door when I opened it, either. Mollie was upstairs, and I found Taz next to his dad's computer, dead.

I guess Taz got the last laugh for being called "asshole" all those years, because like most animals when they die, he left a mess - next to his dad's computer desk.

My neighbor had to leave work when I called him and told him the news, and once he got home, we called the vet to make arrangements for pet cremation. The office lady said to bring Taz's body to the back of the animal clinic, and they would take care of the rest....which meant WE had move his body to the vehicle.

Because Taz's stiff body was about 75 pounds of dead weight, it was impossible for his dad to carry him downstairs to the car by himself, and I wasn't about to try it. We ended up placing him (conveniently frozen in an awkward sitting position) in a standard sized cardboard moving box.

Making the task even more creepy, as we were carrying his heavy body in the box downstairs, Taz's eyes were open, and staring - almost directly at me. At one point, we almost dropped his body, because it kept moving in the box and making it difficult to hold onto.

Once we got downstairs, I pushed the box through the kitchen and towards the garage door, taking him on his last sorta joyride. We had no choice but to place Taz-in-the-box in the passenger seat of his owner's sports car - with his body leaning towards whoever would be driving. I'd be tripping balls on the way to the vet, with his body frozen stiff like that, and looking right at you. Imagine the look on somebody's face if they caught a glimpse of that driving past them!

His owner managed to get Taz to the vet safely, and his body was then cremated and returned the following week.

I wanted to wait until it was appropriate to write my little Taz tribute, and had told his owners tonight that I thought it was acceptable now. Miss ya, ~~asshole~~ Taz!

Mollie And Pennie: Filthy

2008-01-26T14:30:00.001-08:00

Here's some new pictures of my neighbor friends, Mollie and Pennie. The weather has been nasty for the most part this week, and here they are playing indoors after getting filthy playing outside.

Actually it's Pennie who's worse - she goes outside, plays in the dirt and mud, tracks puppy paws all over the floor tiles; and going around like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics, the dirt rubs off on Mollie when they're wrestling around and running through the house like a couple of elephants on the loose.

Who needs a tree pruner when you have Pennie? She's been bringing in sticks, palm tree fans and everything else she can find outdoors (and bringing everything she can find indoors, OUTDOORS LOL). Obviously she loves her new "forever home"!

As you can imagine, poor Mollie can't handle all that rambunctious puppy play for too long, and she had to take a nap soon after.

More Mollie and Pennie:

"Mollie's Holidays 2007 Part I"

"Mollie's Holidays Part II: Pennie"

"Mollie's Holidays Part III: Family"

"More Pennie Destruction"

Speaking In Tongues: Kook VS. Scott + Star Parker Rant

2008-01-23T12:10:00.000-08:00

I really try to avoid getting into the back-and-forth arguing and insulting with "christian" extremists out there in cyberland; especially those particular idiots harassing people on YouTube (when they should just migrate over to ripoff GodTube, where they belong). It's a waste of their time trying to re-indoctrinate/scare me, and it's a waste of my time, period.

But there's always the rare exception though, when I'm in the mood to get into some fuckery. This one just had too much potential kookery to refuse and leave alone.....

Here's my original comment on a YouTube clip of pentecostals speaking in tongues (which kinda freaked me out, by the way - and I HAD to give my 2 cents):

"If somebody starts speaking in tongues around me, I look at them like they're crazy.....because they are."

And then I get the following reply this morning, from an obvious "kool-aid" drinker:

"You need Jesus!!!"

You know I just couldn't pass this crazy shit up, and I hads to stir it:

"Uh, no. However I DO need Jesús, because he's pretty hot.

Like the tongue-speakers, you need to keep your snake-handling cult hands off me. Go roll around on the floor, kicking and screaming "being slain in the spirit", or something."

Next, he gets all high & mighty with the bitch of this here journal:

"Jesus is the Answer me freind Go and Seek Him!!! And Stop Your Nonsense!!! I have no time to Argue with IGnorance"

Why not? I'm having a fun time arguing with YOUR ignorance ;) Better than TV!

"Now you know how the entire country feels about you guys. Sorry to hear people are fleeing from you and your kookery like wildfire. I'm one of them, don't hold your breath on me coming back. You guys are too fucked up for me (and any sane person for that matter)."

It's obvious this is one of those nuts with a "God complex" - kinda like our current president, Sir Chimp-A-Lot.

"It dont matters what the Country thinks about the Body of Christ is what the Lord thinks!!! And I dont really concern if You want to stay out because it is about your own choice: it is u who will answer to Jesus on the DAy of Judgement Not me!! And Only Jesus can Solve your Problem Me brother!!! THOSE PEOPLE WHO REFUSE GOD WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO GOD!!!"

At this point, it gets too nutty, even for me. The typos, the "all-caps" hollering. Wanna bet his psycho eyes were rolling into the back of his head while he was typing? It was good fun getting his holy-rolling self all kooked up though.

And for his information, the country doesn't have a problem with the "body of Christ". The problem is with his nutty bunch of followers and abusers of The Bible, also known as modern-day pharisees. "Christian" kooks, to be exact - and FAR from anything having to do with the "body of Christ".

It's true that I was raised Christian/Southern Baptist, but have been agnostic for over a decade - and I'm quite happy that way. Besides, church is boring - I'd rather sleep in on Sundays, and to hell with whatever The Bible thinks about that.

Plus it's my opinion that church is nothing more than a political house of hatred (especially in this day and age); a gossipy hen-house of closeted homosexuals with nazi intentions for openly gay people, swindlers and crooks, guilty adulterers, pedophiles, and miserable women who needs to put some dick in their lives.

It's also true that I own a copy of The Bible, given to me from my late aunt Gina (held onto for sentimental reasons, more than anything - since she signed a note inside of the cover, to me). That book is stored away somewhere, along with stuff I haven't looked at since probably high school. Any other bibles that makes its way into this house is to become future rolling papers, and nothing else.

One thing I want to make clear is I have absolutely no problems with Christianity, religion in general, nor that nappy-haired hippie named Jesus. If these things brings you contentment, gives you hope or inspiration, or makes your life more livable, then more power to you. For me, it's useless - just like Kevin Federline's "rapping" talent. I've got better extracurricular activities to be enjoying in this short life.

The PROBLEM is the "christian" (in name only) nutballs using The Bible and Christianity to control, intimidate, bully, harm, kill, degrade, and otherwise fuck with people. They've hijacked the church, chasing off the REAL Christians, and anyone else who believes homeless and less fortunate people/families/single mothers with no food, and other important issues in this country is more of a priority than what homosexuals do in their own bedrooms.

What's more, is these kooks yap the tired "hate the sin, love the sinner" line, yet they bully the Christians who are friendly to gays or accepts a gay person in their family, by informing them that "they aren't real Christians" - all because they aren't mistreating and acting holier-than-thou towards the gay person.

As much as I like the REAL Christians out there, they don't have the balls to stand up to these kooks and say "what fucking bible are YOU reading from, anyway?", and send them off to start their own nazi groups from which their fucked-up version of "christianity" is based.

Hitler used Christianity to fuck with gullible people too, and this is exactly a case of history repeating itself - once again, at the expense of good, decent, REAL Christians. It's practically Adolf Hitler all over again (although it hasn't reached the point of Auschwitz.....yet).

Don't believe me? Check out one of their so-called "christian" heroes: Star Parker, who recently said "christians" want to "quarantine the sodomites" (via Max Blumenthal at a "values voters" klan meeting late last year).

This fucked-up remark is coming from a nasty bitch who's a "former crackhead", had more abortions than all the teenage girls in this country on Prom Night combined, and whose vaginal lips are so used up, they'd likely drag the ground like a fucking wedding veil, if it wasn't for panties.

Right, Star Parker has the "moral authority" to threaten gay people like that. What a serene little angel she is. I'll bet she's hiding her crack pipe somewhere in that twisted halo over her head. Somebody needs to quarantine HER, and her fucked-up crackhead psychosis. I'm for real, the crazy bitch is like a female Tyrone Biggums.

These people are just fucking nuts, and it's sometimes fun to fuck with the creepy zombies.

Anyway, I needs to git for now - I haven't been posting all that much lately, so hopefully I made up for it today LOL. Here's the YouTube clip from which the funny back-and-forth earlier started from:

Easy Recipe: Mexican Lasagna Casserole

2008-01-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

Here's an easy recipe Carey from Web Digest Weekly passed along to me:

Mexican Lasagna (casserole)

1.5 lbs ground beef
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 8oz. jar Pace picante sauce
1 bag of tortilla chips
1 bag shredded cheddar cheese

1 - Brown the ground beef and drain.

2 - In a sauce pan, combine cream soups and picante sauce. Cook on medium-high heat until bubbling, stirring frequently. Remove from heat.

3 - Crush tortilla chips. In a casserole dish, put half the bag of crushed chips in the bottom.

4 - Add ground beef over chips.

5 - Pour soup-picante sauce over ground beef.

6 - Layer the cheese across top of sauce and add the rest of the chips.

7 - Bake at 350 degrees for twenty minutes.

OPTIONAL SUGGESTION: As I told my friend, I done a little improvising and added taco spices as I was cooking the ground beef. And I used the bite-size tortilla chips, so I didn't have to bother with crushing them. Chopped green onions could also be sprinkled over the shredded cheese as you're layering the casserole.

New Mollie & Pennie Pix, More Pennie Destruction

2008-01-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

"Little" Pennie continues to grow in size, and so is her appetite for more expensive things to destroy. Last week it was a small sofa chair, and this week an antique sofa chair. She has plenty of toys and those chewie "teething" bones for puppies as well, so that's not the issue. Most of the destruction happens when my neighbor friends are at their workplaces.

The computer room continues to be off-limits.

Mollie Flashback: Baby Pictures

2008-01-02T11:18:00.001-08:00

Speaking of having a puppy around, here's some of Mollie's baby pictures, I believe in the order in which they were taken. The little puffball on her head was too cute when she was a baby, seen clearly in the second and third pictures.

As you can see, even when she was a puppy, she was like a little polar bear cub! The last picture was taken when she close to a year old.

Mollie's Holidays Part III: Family

2008-01-02T10:41:00.001-08:00

The holidays are pretty much over, and Mollie has evidently accepted Pennie as part of the family. They wrestle and run through the house like a stampede of elephants, play in the mud and get filthy, and all that other fun stuff. When I'm over, Mollie usually has one end of the sofa, and Pennie will sit in between us. Imagine what that'll be like in a couple years when she's close to Mollie's size! That'll be over 300 pounds of Great Pyrenees!

Unfortunately, Pennie is still in a destructive puppy phase, as Mollie went through when she was her age. She's opened Christmas gifts, gotten into food, has taken things off the kitchen island/stove, ate a few packs of cigarettes, chewed the remote, to name a few things she's done. The evidence she left behind: muddy Pyrenees puppy tracks all over the kitchen floor and counter.

The good thing is she's gotten a LITTLE better lately - but she's still not off the cigarettes though, as she got a pack this weekend.

When we leave the room, we make sure to gather up all our important things like phones and iPods, because if Pennie's left alone with it, it's fair game to her. Better safe than sorry, especially with JAWS around!! She's also not allowed in the computer room when her parents aren't home - I don't blame them!

Happy Holidays from Mollie and Pennie:

Awwwww....they kinda look like two polar bears!! LOL

Christmas Recipe: Red Hots (Hard Candy)

2007-12-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

This recipe is actually from my great-grandma, who would make this around the holidays. And the recipe is 100% adjustable to your own tastes. If you like hard candy, but don't care for red hot cinnamon, you can use any other flavor of LorAnn oils, along with the appropriate food coloring.

Red Hots (also Hard Candy)

4 cups of white sugar
½ bottle of red cake coloring
4 cups white syrup
2 tablespoons LorAnn oil – cinnamon

Directions:

Mix sugar and syrup, bring to boil – stirring until sugar is dissolved.

Cook to a hard crackling boil/300 degrees.

Don't stir. Remove from heat.

Cool some, add cake coloring and LorAnn oil.

Pour into well-greased pan (cooking spray).

Break in squares when cold.

Other hard candy flavor suggestions: green coloring with wintergreen LorAnn flavoring, blue coloring with blueberry LorAnn flavoring, purple coloring with plum LorAnn flavoring, pink coloring with bubble gum LorAnn flavoring, or red coloring with cran-raspberry LorAnn flavoring.

Shop for LorAnn flavoring oils at lorannoils.com

Mollie's Holidays Part II: Pennie

2007-12-18T18:39:00.001-08:00

My Great Pyrenees neighbor friend Mollie got a new 6-month old baby sister named Pennie this past Sunday. Four-year old Mollie is a little overwhelmed, but the puppy seems to be adjusting fine. She's already helped herself to the Christmas ornaments and has unwrapped a few gifts too.

Mollie's reaction to her new little sister:

Pennie:

Mollie and Pennie sharing the sofa:

More Mollie.....

Mollie's Holidays Part I

Reindeer Antlers - Christmas 2006 Flashback

Halloween 2007

Harley Davidson Cafe: Las Vegas

2007-12-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

Mollie's parents were in Las Vegas this past week, and visited the Harley Davidson Cafe. Here's a couple pictures contributed by them:

Mollie's Holidays 2007 Part I

2007-12-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

My photogenic Great Pyrenees neighbor friend Mollie was in the holiday spirit today - AFTER playing in water, as you can see.

Mollie visited SPIN (Saving Pyrenees In Need) at Petsmart today, and this particular Santa owns several Great Pyrenees himself - and is also helping Mollie find a new Pyrenees brother or sister.

A closeup at the Petsmart:

Mollie's Reindeer Antlers 2006

2007-12-06T12:06:00.000-08:00

These pictures of Mollie were taken around Christmas of last year. We have some new pictures with some new and much-cooler-looking antlers (with little light bulbs dangling from them LOL), and will share those soon.

Mollie Meets Santa

2007-12-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

Mollie met Santa, along with several other Great Pyrenees today at Arlington Highlands. Santa liked the picture below so much, he even bought a copy for himself! LOL

SPIN - Saving Pyrenees In Need (rescue service)

Mollie - Halloween pictures 2007

On Music Collecting

2007-11-28T06:40:00.000-08:00

Today I'll be talking a little about music collecting, one of my favorite things to do for fun.....

If you don't follow a majority of the current trend of music like myself, I'm sure you'll find yourself looking around for older (and much better) stuff at the used music CD stores.

Unfortunately one of the best chains for new and used music closed down over the past few years, and one time, a friend and I were lucky enough to walk into one of their "closeout for good" sales, in which most of their merchandise including CD's were 80% or more off. For a little over 20 bucks each, we walked out like bandits. Prior to then, they had great sales on used discs and older slimline CD singles, such as 3 for $5.

Another good place to find used music at a steal is Half Price Books, and I know several people who shops there for music. Although their more recent used CD's are priced between $5-10, many of the local HPB locations have awesome clearance sections, priced at .50 cents to $3 each. Some of the stores just price them all at $1. And at each location, you're sure to find that damned used copy of the second Wilson Phillips album nobody wanted (Shadows And Light from 1992) in the clearance section. I would say close to half of my CD collection came from HPB, with all the good stuff I've found there for virtually a buck each, old and recent. And yes, I bought that not-as-good-as-the-first-one Wilson Phillips album LOL

Being a music collector, you'll find out in many cases the entire catalog of the artist or group is no longer in print, and sometimes you'll be paying outrageous prices for them on eBay, Amazon, etc. Again, used CD stores and places like Half Price Books comes in handy, because I can't tell you how many out-of-print CD's I've found at regular used CD price, and avoided paying $40 and up for it online. I generally keep a list of what to look out for, that way I can save $, plus 9 times out of 10, I soon find whatever CD I was looking for used at one of these local places. When push comes to shove, I've been lucky enough to find a copy of the hard-to-find disc's at reasonable prices, although still paying a pretty penny more than the original retail price.

Some dance music geeks collects the remix maxi CD singles, also known as EP's. Usually they feature remixes of the single, and in some cases, exclusive live tracks, or unreleased songs. Half Price Books usually has several of these, and I've stocked up on some of the best older singles, and have uncovered some really good remix versions of those classics.

An interesting note about CD singles, is sometimes you'll find a different version of a standard jewel case CD single, with the same artwork as the commercial version, but with a different (and usually better) track listing. I assume these unusual releases are promotional-only, and are rare finds that you'll only find among used CD's. Some of the promo singles I've found only have 1 track, and some only have artwork on the back of the jewel case (track information), with no cover artwork as the way it was distributed.

I have to say that the import versions of singles are some of my favorites, that I've gotten my hands on thus far. Japan and Germany especially catered to the dance music enthusiast needs at the time techno was the "in" thing. A great place I personally enjoy shopping at is Total Recall, located in Germany. Their prices are reasonable, but the shipping will kill ya when you order several items. It's still worth it, though. Check out Total Recall's website, and be sure to click the English version, and convert the $ to USD (the default is German and priced in EUR).

And luckily, I have some great friends across the country, and sometimes I'll get a surprise in the mail, such as an out-of-print 1990 CD Miss Mary Brewster found for my last birthday, that generally would have cost around $30. If I remember correct, he paid less than a couple dollars for it at his local used music store.

More on music collecting for another day!

Recipe: Collard Greens

2007-11-25T19:39:00.000-08:00

Here's my recipe for collard greens......

3 large or 4 medium-small sized bunches collard greens
5 cans chicken broth
1 small package of salt pork (ham hocks are ok)
1 small jar minced garlic
2 tablespoons red pepper flakes

* Bring 4 cans of chicken broth, the salt pork and your desired amount of minced garlic (I use 2-3 tablespoons) to a boil in a large pot, and then simmer on low for 1 hour, covered.

* Chop 1 bunch of greens at a time (discard the end stalks), and add to broth (stir in and wait for greens to wilt a little before adding the next bunch). Use additional broth to submerge greens. Bring to boil.

* Reduce greens to low heat, covered for 1 hour.

* Bring to a boil again, and add red pepper flakes. Stir and simmer again on low heat for another hour, covered.

Falwell Blast From The Past (GLB May 2007)

2007-11-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

Three hilarious blasts from the past.....

Part I: Falwell's Dead:

As you've probably heard by now, Jerry Falwell has kicked the bucket.

React to it how you will.

I'm THRILLED!

It's hard for me to gather sympathy for a person who's profited off demonizing homosexuals. He's responsible for deaths, job firings, gay bashings, ruining family relationships with gay family members, bigotry, and much more.

And I'm surprised Fred Phelps and his klan at Westboro hasn't jumped on this news yet. You'd think they'd be throwing a holy ghost mardi gras over there in Topeka right about now. Maybe they're too busy dancing and speaking in tongues to type anything at the moment. But you can bet they'll be hauling ass to his funeral, picket signs and all.

PART II: Falwell's Message From Beyond The Grave:

To: gayleftborg2@yahoo.com
From: satan69@hell.net
Subject: FW: Falwell's Message From Hell

Hey Scott,

Thought I'd share this email I received from that fool Jerry Falwell this morning. Pass it on!

S.
"Prince Of Darkness"

--------------------------------------------------

Dear World,

It's been a few hours since I've arrived in hell, after quickly being rejected from entering the pearly gates.

How can I describe the place?

Well, for starters, the only thing that plays on TV is back-to-back episodes of The Wonder Years, Full House, and that lip-synching show Puttin' On The Hits, from the 80's. Occasionally, we'll get a treat episode of Sister, Sister or Moesha. So be sure to tell Beverly LaHaye to get her fill of Desperate Housewives while she's still alive, because she won't be drooling over Jesse Metcalfe's bare ass when she gets down here.

None of my favorite foods are on the menu in hell. There's no triple-batter-dipped deep fried onion rings, no deep-fried Coca-Cola, no all-you-can-eat pizza buffets, no booze, nothing. Just brussells sprouts. Please warn Bill Donahue to upgrade from a fork to a shovel, and get it while the getting's good before he dies.

In the "ex-gay" wing of hell, there is only heterosexual porn available. In other words, Alan Chambers, Peter "Porno Pete" LaBarbera, Randy Thomas and Matt Sanchez will go berzerk once they get here.

Gay republicans are automatically sent to have their mouths sewn shut upon arriving in hell: for one, nobody wants to hear them to begin with; and two, to keep them from sucking dick, since they hate gay sex so much. The Log Cabin Republicans are the pariahs of hell, and are subject to the beatings they encouraged onto non-republican gays while they were alive.

Hell is an awful place for the likes of myself, but I'm not all alone, and that's good. Jim West of Spokane is my new boyfriend, but Satan won't allow us to get married! That's discrimination!

There's so much more to tell, and so much free time ahead in hell. I'll be keeping in touch with everyone!

Jerry Falwell
tinkywinkyluv@hell.net

Part III: "Farewell Falwell" Party, Anyone?

Is anyone planning on having a party this weekend, to celebrate Falwell's journey to hell?

If the weather is nice, why not fire up the barbecue and have the friends over for a "No More Falwell" party.

In remembrance of that sorry sack of shit Jerry Fallwell, why not play some fun games to ring in the rest of life as you know it without that fat hog!

Here's some ideas that'll keep the laughs going.....

PHOTO BURNING:
A classic protest game: tear and burn photo's of Jerry Falwell. Simple enough.

FRIED FOODS EATING CONTEST:
Always a favorite of Falwell's. Deep-fry everything in sight, and the person who eats the most greased-up food without vomiting wins a free bible. You may have to get yourself a new Frydaddy after this contest though, as it'll get quite the workout.

STOP INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE:
Contestants must strap on 800 pounds of sand bags (to simulate Falwell's size), dress up in their Sunday finest, and line up in front of the house in which the party is going on. When the whistle blows, contestants must run as fast as they can, bible in hand, to the nearest courthouse, screaming "GOD HATES NEGROES!", "STOP INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE!", "SEGREGATE BLACKS!", "BI-RACIAL BABIES ARE HELLSPAWN!", "NO MIXING SALT AND PEPPER!", and other quotes from Falwell's early days (which his goons tried to sweep under the rug in recent years). Extra points are awarded to those who are genuinely panting, losing their breath, and sputtering - just like Falwell after walking just a few feet across the room when he was alive. The first one to make it to the courthouse (or the last one to pass out on the way there) wins.

HOMOSEXUAL EXPERTS:
A heartwarming "christian" favorite that brings the family together (and proves who's REALLY straight and who's not). Split everyone into two teams, and begin shouting compassionate "christian" knowledge about gays back and forth, such as "Gays are going to hell!", "Homosexuals must be executed, by the glory of God!", "All gays do crystal meth!", or simply name off any weird and obscure sex act that only Peter LaBarbera researches and informs everyone that gays allegedly do. If you run out of things to say about homosexuals, just start making shit up. "Christians" do! The team who can think up of the most vile things to say about gays are totally heterosexual (right).

Sounds like good fun to me!

So get on the phone and make some arrangements for this weekend! Have fun!

Driving Miss Mollie

2007-11-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was asked to drop Mollie (Great Pyrenees) off at the vet when they opened, as she was scheduled to be there all day for a grooming, and the works.

The neighbors left their Four Runner in the garage for me to transport her slobbering self, and I had no idea how difficult it was to get her in the back seat.

First I tried setting a "baby cookie" in the back seat. She attempted to jump, and just stood there with her front paws on the floorboard. I looked around for something suitable to use as a makeshift ramp, but couldn't find anything. She then started avoiding the truck.

We were running late, so I had no other choice but to set her front paws on the back seat, and fucking hoist her 160 pounds of mostly dead weight up there.

I also picked her up from the vet that night, and she was ready to go. She tried diving into the back seat once again, but didn't quite make it - so again I had to hoist that big bear skin rug into the seat!

They done a really good job though. The above is a "before" picture, and will soon post something new.

How To Deal With Men Part III

2007-11-05T21:27:00.000-08:00

This is too fun - on with the third volume......

HOW TO DEAL WITH MEN, PART III

* THE TALL-TALE QUEEN *

Thank God for internet in this day and age; one of the safest ways to get to know men before you decide whether or not you actually want to go through meeting them in person.

But some of them are just too ridiculous not to turn down. You know, when they're so full of shit, you just have to meet them in person to see what they're really all about. I can't help myself!

One case in particular was this guy in his early 20's, who first claimed he owned a hotel chain. Unless his last name was "Hilton", I had my doubts. And then he owned a horse farm. And then he owned some then-current fancy new car. And then he owned a bakery, and he was the head chef. With each conversation, the guy piled on his "have's" just like Sally Struthers piles her plate at Thanksgiving.

Finally we met one weekend day, and I was proven right when he pulled up in some boat, some 1970's luxury car - probably older than me! He then tried to explain the car belonged to "one of his cooks". Yeah.

The obvious look of shock and disbelief on my face cut our conversation short, and I never heard from him again - until a year or so later, when some friends and I ran into him at a club. Of course he continued to pile on whatever new things he owned, and I had to leave.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm no materialistic person. He could have pulled up in some battered pickup truck in the first place, and I would have had no problems with it. As long as he didn't make up some tall-tale that he was going to be pulling up in a Porsche! If he's going to lie about the obvious things that I'm eventually going to find out, why should I believe anything from him that concerns a relationship?

Guys, come on. Unless you're trying to get your hands on some trifeling gold digger, why make up a bunch of bullshit to impress somebody?

* THE PSYCHO *

Out of all my dating experiences, this one probably takes the kooky cake.

I was asked out by this guy in his mid 30's, and we agreed to meet at a bar for karaoke night. I'm not a fan of karaoke in the first place, nor am I a fan of going to bars, period. We went, we had a fun time, and we sobered up at the local Denny's - the after-hours gay club hangout everywhere in the USA. After that, a hug in the parking lot, and we went our separate ways.

He called the next night, and asked if I wanted to go out again. Although I didn't want to, I did anyway. Same routine as the first night.

The third night, yet another call from him. He wanted me to meet him at the same place again, and I frankly told him I didn't feel like driving 30-45 minutes to get sloshed and listen to horrible singers for a third night in a row. He seemed disappointed, but accepted my decision.

Less than an hour later, he called again, and once again asked me to come out to see him at the bar. I told him "no". He continued to bug me, and I told him "no" every time.

Not long after that, another call. This time he was completely hostile, and fucking DEMANDED that I get in my truck, and be there by a certain time, giving me about 15 minutes to arrive; nowhere near the normal driving time to get to this place.

OK, VERRRRY important rule - I take requests, but NEVER command me to do something, like I'm your little kid. That doesn't go over too well with me.

Again, I told him "no".

He called back again, yelling into the phone. I hanged up.

He called again, to apologize. I told him I still wasn't going to the bar.

He called several more times over the next few minutes (none of which I answered), to the point that I had to pull the phone cord out of the wall. There's no telling how many messages he left in those few minutes; I didn't bother listening to them. Just "delete", "delete", "delete", "delete", "delete".

Surprisingly, that was the last I heard from him.

As much ranting as I'm doing, I'm sure several people who will read this can relate to these situations. Dating is one of the bumpiest roads in life, but it's fun, and can be fucking hilarious. Does it scare me off? Hell no! I love men too much to give up! It's just much better when you finally meet the rare guy who's laid-back and less, how do you say, FUCKED?!?!?!?

How To Deal With Men Part I

How To Deal With Men, Continued

How To Deal With Men, continued

2007-11-05T15:13:00.000-08:00

Actually I had written a "Part II" on the old blog, on abusive boyfriends/husbands, but I've seemed to have lost it. Oh well - I'll repost if I ever run across it.

HOW TO DEAL WITH MEN, CONTINUED.....

After writing about my little experience from this past week, it got me thinking of all the other retards I've dealt with in my 10 years of dating and getting to know men. Unfortunately, many are best avoided (if like myself, you prefer drama-free relationships). What "OTHER" types of men are out there which I can discuss today.....

* "THE EX-OBSESSED GUY" *

When getting to know a guy, it's always good to hear about his previous relationships, and get to know what he's about, and where he's been.

One of the most frequent issues with men is they seem to be obsessed over an "ex", usually his last relationship. If the guy was burned, it's perfectly fine for him to get it off his chest and discuss it.

The problem begins when he seems to be more interested in his "ex" than he's interested in you. I've been on at least one date where all he talked about was his "ex". He loves the "ex", he hates the "ex". Oh, we can't go to this place, because it reminds him of his "ex". Oh, we can't listen to that song, because it reminds him of his "ex". Don't do this, don't do that, because it reminds him of his "ex". It can sometimes seem like his "ex" is on every corner - in the real world AND in his mind. In most cases, you'll frequently be compared to his "ex", to your face.

Just.....NO!!!!! Until this dumbass can get over his "ex", he has no business going out with you, or anyone else. Nothing is more inconsiderate than some guy casting you into his "ex's" shadow, of which there's really no competition. In 99 out of 100 cases, you'll lose. If the guy is actively pursuing the "ex" while dating you, it's time to send the guy home for good. Please don't waste your time!

* "THE BITCHY FRIEND" *

When you're dating a guy, at some point, you're going to meet his friends. And that's a good thing, because if you're planning on being around this guy often, you're going to have to deal with these guys too.

I had already been dating this police officer who recently got out of an abusive relationship (and the hilarious thing was HE was the abused!) for a couple months already, when he introduced me to his friends; and we all went out to dinner and an amusement park that night.

As much as I tried to have a good time with everyone, there was one little problem that kept nagging at me the whole time - a friend of his, who looked like that nelly queen from Queer As Folk (Emmett?). That skinny little bitch was staring daggers at me from the moment we met, until the end of the night. Everyone else seemed to like me though - it was just this one queen who had issues, and quite frankly, seemed hellbent on ruining everyone's fun time.

Surprisingly, I have good manners and I'm well behaved in person, at least around people I DON'T know (different story when we become close friends LOL). I didn't give this queen one reason to dislike me, but for some reason, it was obvious he didn't like me. I thought he had a wicked sense of humor, and of course I immediately liked HIM! I assumed it had something to do with him keeping an eye out for his formerly-abused friend - which shouldn't be a problem, because I'd never raise my fist or voice to anyone who doesn't do it to me first!

Our last stop of the night was this queen's house, and I had it all figured out by then: he was a bitchy, single, unhappy, prissy queen who isn't happy unless he's controlling his friends relationships, to his own liking. If the bitch has his mind set that he doesn't like you, then he's never going to like you. You can do backflips, or whatever for him, and still it's not good enough to win brownie points with this queen.

You'll be spending your time trying to please THIS bitch, when you should be spending your time on the guy you're dating. With some of these lonely queens, it's almost like you're dating them, and not the guy who you're supposed to be with.

For me, that's reason enough to kick the guy to the curb. But then again, I try to live life as drama-free as possible; and if your potential man has a good friend who will never accept you for whatever lame reason, then you need to send the guy back to his mom, I mean, his bitchy friend. If the guy won't step in, and tell his friend to back off, consider him a big-time loser who's not worth the effort. Why waste your time on THAT shit?

The funny thing is several years ago, I had a "bitchy friend" too. The bitter single queen was always on a mission to prove my then-boyfriend was cheating; even going as far as trying to seduce him, to prove he was a cheater! He succeeded in ruining that relationship, which he took great pleasure in. After that, I no longer told him the name, or gave him any info on any guy I was talking to. Of course this made him furious.

And guess what happened to him? Curb.

I'm just getting started.....stay tuned for "Volume 3"

More: "How To Deal With Men (Part I)"

Gloria Estefan Memoir

2007-11-04T13:50:00.000-08:00

Another favorite of mine is a Gloria Estefan memoir, contributed by a Cuban-American friend of mine from Miami. Back then, I was working on a multi-post series which focused on 1 artist/group. Needless to say, after 2 or 3 volumes, I kinda forgot about that project. What can I say, I'm a fickle writer! LOL

"The Miami Sound Machine's original lineup included Gloria, Emilio, Enrique Garcia, Juan Avilia, and Merci Murciano (Gloria's cousin), and helped launched backup singer, Jon Secada's solo career. The group released four Spanish LPs in the early 80s: Renacer, Otra Vez, Rio, and A Toda Máquina.

In 1975, at the urging of her mother, Gloria Fajardo (her maiden name) sang some songs at a wedding, which was being entertained by a local party band, The Miami Latin Boys. The band leader, Emilio Estefan, was so impressed by her smooth alto voice that he hounded her to join his band. She reluctantly agreed, but only to sing on weekends. No longer all boys, the band was rechristened The Miami Sound Machine.

My first encounter with the Miami Sound Machine took place in June of 1976, when the group was hired to play for the junior prom at the middle school where I taught. Locally, most if not all of the teenagers in Miami knew about the group, and my students were very excited to have the Miami Sound Machine play at their prom. If I remember correctly, the total price for their appearance was about $700.00.

The students danced to many salsa tunes, and they were also engaged in slow, romantic dancing, while listening to Gloria’s beautiful ballads such as “Renacer” and ”Otra Vez”. The evening was truly successful, and the rest of the band’s success is history.

I also felt very good that night. I felt very proud that one of my compatriots was the “main event” that evening. Today, my feelings have not changed."

How To Deal With Men, Part I

2007-11-04T13:39:00.000-08:00

As some of my GLB readers may notice, this is another favorite from the old blog. I've been cleaning out some of my old Word documents, and have been running across these old posts, and wanted to re-print a couple. And the following project was one I liked enough, that I'll likely continue the "series" in the future:

I'm going to have some fun today, since I don't talk enough about one thing I (and surely many of my readers) love - MEN!

There's all types of men out there, but which one is right for you? Which types should you avoid, and which types should you stick with? A comical look at a few of them, based on personal experience and stories from friends and their experiences.....

HOW TO DEAL WITH MEN PART 1: "THE GIFT SHOWERER"

There's nothing wrong with doing the old-fashioned thing and showing up on a first date with a single rose or something cutesy like that. I personally think it makes a good first impression, and depending on the guy, could even score points with me!

But the problem starts when EVERY time you see the guy, several days in a week, he has something for you. A stuffed animal one day, a bouquet of balloons the next, and so on. The recipient of all this so-called "love" may possibly start to feel cornered, trapped, and absolutely drowning in love, hearts and gifts. And then they flee.

I'm saying this from experience, on both ends.

When I was first coming out at the age of 20, and being all idealistic about relationships with the first couple of boyfriends, I had done pretty much the exact same thing. Possibly one too many Hallmark cards and other surprise gifts were to blame for them getting overwhelmed and less interested in me. Oh well, live and learn. They were horrible in bed anyway, so no big loss!

A few years later, my past actions came back to haunt me, fucking tenfold! A blind date with a guy a few years older than myself turned into a situation similar to the song "Spiderwebs" by No Doubt.

The first date, got flowers - cute.

The second date, stuffed animal - ok.

Each additional date, something different. Stuff I didn't need, want, or could use (I later ended up donating most of the items, many still new and unopened). Even on that Christmas, I told him not to bring me any gifts, as I told my friends not to bring anything but themselves. And what did he do? He brought 5 gifts!

It was an overwhelming experience, and I had to break it off before it got any crazier. No matter how much I told him to stop bringing little gifts, he would continue anyway.

As if I didn't see it coming, the breakup was followed with him casting guilt at me, and whining "now I'm going to grow old, decrepit and single" (until, of course, somebody else after me comes along). The guy was only in his early 30's, get a fucking grip!

And the funny thing is we were only just casually dating, and nothing more. Nothing romantic, no sex, nothing that would make us seem like a couple. You would think a man would stop giving you things if he wasn't getting any in the bedroom! Not this guy.

The gift showerer types generally means well, but in many cases, their nonstop giving can be a sign of infatuation (especially if the guy is young, or newly "out", no matter his age). If you enjoy nonstop adoration and appreciation, more power to you. It could possibly be a good match in the longrun, once he gets past that nonstop gift-giving bullshit.

Some aren't as nice, thinking everything they give totals up and obligates you to them exclusively, and the two of you are going to be together forever. The sooner you can detect this type of guy, and get him out of your hair, the better. Because the longer it goes on, the more hellacious the breakup will be later on.

So for those of you out there dating and getting to know the mens, beware the gift showerer. Don't confuse this with the guy who surprises you once in a while with something. That's not the problem. The problem is when you receive enough stuff in a week to open a little store.

For those of you prone to being a gift showerer - STOP IT!!!!! If you want to make a good first impression, go for it. But just once! If things are going well after a few weeks, feel free to repeat. But don't you dare bring anything on the 2nd date! Unless it's a bottle of wine for the two of you to share, leave it on the shelf. Sometimes less is more; and the more you give, the quicker you may possibly scare off the object of your affection.

Pentecostal Zombies Trilogy

2007-11-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

A favorite of mine that I wanted to reprint is the "Pentecostal Zombies" trilogy; three short true stories of my dealing with pentecostal folks over the years:

PART I: "Pentecostal Zombies"

We all make mistakes, and one of mine was attending a private "christian/southern baptist" affiliated college upon high school graduation. It wasn't all bad, but the loons I encountered there will provide some nice story material in the future.

Although the school was supposed to be "baptist", the biggest religious influence in town (I later found out AFTER becoming a student) was "pentecostal". And with a fair percent of students being local commuters and pentecostal, you were sure to see lots of new students being sucked into that hogwash.

Even the manager/franchise owner at the part-time job I got in town was a pentecostal - and she was converting employees, one person at a time. One week, an assistant manager was a pretty cool person and had somewhat of a filthy mouth. The next week, she was speaking in tongues and loosely quoting the bible. Another assistant manager got transformed as well. The crazy bitch couldn't sink her talons into me, therefore, I was the spawn of Satan. Hiss!

Towards the later part of my second year at the school, I "came out"; first, to my best female friend/first friend I made before we became students (at a high school statewide event), Tanya. Of course she was accepting and nothing changed about our friendship.....

until one night when she returned to campus with Sara, another female friend of ours. They had been on a church visit - with "one of them".

The next day, both girls had dramatically changed everything about themselves. They stopped smoking cold turkey, and drinking, because it "destroyed your temple" they said. They no longer dressed casual - both would be wearing long dresses, and their hair was put up in a "bun" - which by the way, looks ridiculous on any woman. Although they were never particularly hateful towards me personally, they did ramble on with the tired "hate the sin, love the sinner" thing. It was a weird sight for the rest of our group of friends, as if Tanya and Sara had been bitten by a pentecostal zombie or something.

This went on for at least a week or so. "Love the sinner, hate the sin", "sha-la-ba-za-ca-la-ba" and all that other stupid speaking in tongues bullshit.

At one point, I thought the girls were playing a prank or something. It was just too ridiculous to be true.

Then magically, as if some secular fairy flown through the window and sprinkled "get some fucking sense" dust on them overnight, they were back to their old selves again. I welcomed my fag hag back with a cigarette, and we partied all night long.

The end.

PART II: "Pentecostal Zombies Part II"

Almost a year after that fiasco with my friends and their "pentecostal" phase, I had visited my former college town to visit Tanya, who decided to continue at this school.

Once again, she had been bitten by the pentecostal zombies, and this time, it was good old-fashioned congregation acting that reeled her in. She told me an older lady at the pentecostal church she was brought to had approached her and made some psychic prediction that Tanya seemed "lost", and needed to make friends with (their twisted version of) JC.

Tanya invited me to her new church that evening, and since we had got ahold of some pretty good weed, I thought I could use the entertainment. The church was a nice little drive from the main part of the college town, and was located by itself along the highway.

And side note: this time around, my friend remained secular, still partied and everything, although she attended this pentecostal church. Maybe the reasons she enjoyed going was because of what I was about to see with my very own eyes.

As everyone was socializing before service began, I noticed a couple familiar faces - my former manager, and one of the zombified converted assistant managers. A handful of college students and other people I recognized were there as well.

Unlike any church I had ever been to, this place had a rock band up front, complete with drums, bass and guitar, piano, and the whole shabang. In addition to standard hymns, several of the songs were up-tempo rock ditties.

If the music wasn't entertaining enough, the 1-armed preacher bumbled around to the music onstage. Two preteen girls in front of Tanya, her room-mate and I were doing the "butterfly", which was a popular urban dance at the time. So we didn't look conspicuous, our little trio joined in and bounced along with the congregation - like I was going to take a chance on being addressed or called out by that insane loud-ass preacher! It was bad enough we were in the back row, with me certainly looking suspicious and "new".

At some points, it got too weird for me. Some people were crawling up to the front stage and freaking out, some were shouting and shrieking, and a few were making weird retarded movements while they were walk-running through the aisles between pews, and talking jibberish.

After three'ish hours of this, we hads to go. They were still going apeshit to their music as we quickly slinked out the door.

Never.Again.

PART III: "Right Nextdoor To Hell"

I was exposed to pentecostal zombies from day 1, as my original childhood/teen years neighbor in my longtime neighborhood was a kooky pentecostal lady named Marcy. She was always acting like she was medicated, and it wouldn't surprise me if she was. The rest of the family were pretty decent folks, and the son and daughter socialized with the rest of the neighborhood kids.

As I said in the last post, women can be gossipy bitches too, and my own mom got busted for running that gator of hers, when she noticed Marcy's huge weird blue and white "Miracle Whip" brand logo umbrella she was using for sunbathing (her husband was a grocery manager in town, so I assume that's where she got it; free tacky perk, or something like that). Mom poked fun at the umbrella to our neighbor on the other side of Marcy, and of course that no-BS woman repeated to Marcy what she said. Needless to say, she wasn't amused, but I thought it was fucking hilarious.

When I was a teenager, Marcy became creepier with age, and because I was the typical 90's teen into rock music and wearing t-shirts of my favorite groups, the nutty lady branded me a "Satan worshiper", and "a Satanist". She also based this on the fact I had slightly long hair at the time - so I wonder if that makes JC himself a "Satanist" too, because he looked like some long-haired hippie to me!

While my parents were away one weekend night, my younger kid brother and I noticed Marcy outdoors in her above-ground pool, and decided to play a little prank on her, and fuck with her mind. If she thinks I'm a "Satanist", dammit, I'm gonna give her "Satanist".

We opened the windows on that side of the house, played the KISS Destroyer album with the volume turned up real loud, and began flipping the lights on-and-off repeatedly in those rooms while screaming like banshees and ghosts. I can imagine Marcy's eyes probably fell out of their sockets, because she quickly jumped out of the pool, wrapped up in a towel, grabbed her shit, and took off like a thief in the night towards the back door, and slammed it shut.

We had some good times returning the harassing Marcy always gave us as kids. If you deal with fundies bugging you, try it sometime - it's fun!

Star Parker: "Quarantine All Sodomites"

2007-10-31T13:40:00.000-07:00

Welfare queen and 4-time abortionist Star Parker has shown her true colors of fucked-up "christian" love by saying "we wanted all sodomites quarantined" - meaning, a holocaust, at the lovely gathering of so-called "christians", at the Values Voter Summit.

And there you have it people - the cat's out of the bag. This is the objective of these nutty "christians", republicans and "ex gays". What's most shocking is formerly pro-gay presidential candidates Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney were there too! And Romney has the audacity to compare being pro-choice to the holocaust? Ha! What a pandering waste of flesh he is!

The hilarious thing is we actually do need to have another holocaust. But not of minorities and people who choose to use birth control, who allegedly offends these busybodies. The people who needs to be exterminated are these nutty so-called "christians". Not REAL Christians, mind you - I'm talking about the nazi lunatics who've hijacked Christianity. REAL Christians are sick of these kooks too. They've worked hard to destroy America and turn everything upside-down, and have done well. They spend all their hours trying to have particular groups of people killed off, and are no different than jihadists. The world, and especially this country would be better off without them all. Star Parker should be the first to go.

This little quote from Miss Parker needs to make the news big time, because it's outrageous. The so-called "liberal media" needs to show the world just how truly kooky these "conservative christians" are, and they need to put people like Star Parker out of business. Oh yeah, and the "ex gays" were there too, but we knew that was the objective of these bitter and rejected queens long ago, with their quoting fraudulent quack Paul Cameron. If anyone has connections to any news station, they need to pass this clip along ASAP!

Big thanks to Max Blumenthal for exposing these psycho "christians"!

H/T Pam's House Blend

See Miss Parker making this comment, among other kooks running their traps about everyone's personal business here:

New Gay Stereotype Comic

2007-10-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

A hilarious comic from Tom the Dancing Bug @ Go Comics (click for large view):

H/T Blogactive

Meeting The REAL Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen

2007-10-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

The Halloween party was rescheduled at the last minute for Halloween (Wednesday), so Mollie's parents and I had fun anyway, and went to a haunted house at Ripley's Believe It Or Not and wax museum last night. Because of the constant blast of smoke and fog, it was impossible to take any pictures inside.

WTF? Apparently this bum was supposed to emit smoke into the barrell through his penis?

Fans got to meet horror movie icon Gunnar Hansen ("Leatherface", from 1974's Texas Chainsaw Massacre) near the exit of the haunted house, and I was excited to shake his hand, take a picture, and he autographed my TCM DVD cover as well!

This is about as close to meeting God as I'll ever get!

How To Write/Talk Like James Hartline 101

2007-10-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

Want to learn how to write or talk like "ex gay" James Hartline? Just hysterically focus on homosexuality, and speak of yourself in third person as often as possible....I guess so nobody will forget his name? Let's give this a shot:

The James Hartline Report
(as if you really care)

Today, James Hartline decided that James Hartline wanted to go to the mall and find examples of the homosexuality which is plaguing James Hartline's city.

James Hartline thought Hot Topic would be the first best place to look, since James Hartline knows there's plenty of homosexuals there. Upon James Hartline's walking into the store, James Hartline noticed the pro-homosexual group Fall Out Boy was playing on the sound system. James Hartline took note to call Hot Topic's corporate office and complain, because James Hartline believes they shouldn't be promoting the homosexual agenda in their stores with this pro-homosexual music. James Hartline also noticed several "GLBT" rainbow items were available for purchase, such as bumper stickers and jewelry. James Hartline will complain about this too.

Then James Hartline passed Cinnabon. This made James Hartline livid, because everyone including James Hartline knows that all homosexuals are good cooks, and Cinnabon is promoting homosexuality by presenting fresh baked goods.

Next was FYE, the entertainment store. James Hartline found several CD's available which promotes homosexuality, including Kate Smith, Bronski Beat, Bette Midler, Spice Girls, Culture Club, Fall Out Boy, Clay Aiken, Madonna, Erasure, Cher, Diana Ross, Judy Garland, Jamiroquai and High School Musical. James Hartline was surrounded in a concert of homosexuality in FYE. What made James Hartline even more upset was the movie selection that James Hartline browsed through, of which 95% has the potential to indoctrinate children into homosexuality.

James Hartline became dizzy, and then James Hartline had to get something to drink at Orange Julius.

James Hartline knew something was wrong at the juice station, because they offered pro-homosexual flavors, such as blueberry-pomegranate, piña colida and mixed fruit. Homosexuals indoctrinate children with their healthy-conscious drinks which can be spiked with bee pollen, an ingredient that only homosexuals use. James Hartline was furious, and James Hartline will consider trying to have the Orange Julius condemned.

Over at Victoria's Secrets, James Hartline discovered fake breast enhancers - a common piece used by transsexuals and drag queens. Although the clothing is meant for women, James Hartline knows the secret of Victoria's Secrets is they also sell their clothing to men who dresses in these clothes. Nothing makes James Hartline angrier than finding a store which secretly caters to the homosexual elite.

James Hartline was also livid that none of the bookstores had any books on ex-gay reparation therapy. Remember that James Hartline successfully overcame homosexuality with Jesus. James Hartline was shocked that Waldenbooks had several pro-homosexual books, but nothing by Richard Cohen. James Hartline will complain about this, and James Hartline may also call James Dobson and CWFA for reinforcement. However, James Hartline may reconsider, if Waldenbooks offers James Hartline a table to offer James Hartline's signature on all bible purchases.

This is James Hartline, exposing the gay agenda with The James Hartline Report.

OMG that was fucking exhausting! And now Scott believes that Scott needs a nap!

Texas Scaregrounds: Photo Fun

2007-10-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight some friends and I went to the Texas Scaregrounds in DFW (their MySpace Page is here). Admission includes 4 attractions, 3 of them being haunted houses: Chaos, Nightmare, Asylum and the Acres Of Fear Haunted Hayride.

I was volunteered to be the leader of our group in the haunted houses, which is always fun to do anyway. As one zombie girl walked past us in a daze, I could smell her shampoo, and let her know "for a dead person, your hair smells nice!". The haunted houses reeked of designer cologne - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it was smothering in the buildings, and you were sweaty by the time you reached the exit. If anyone from Scaregrounds runs across this post, PLEASE add A/C, fans, or something next year!

Although the Scaregrounds crew got a couple first-screams out of me at the front, by far the scariest moment happened in the Chaos haunted house. At one point, you walk through a long hallway of complete darkness. A friend of mine is clinging onto one arm, and I tell everyone that I have my hand in front of me, so I don't run into any wall. Within seconds of saying this, I feel something with my hand, as a vampire girl pulls a string to turn on a light and scream. I screamed the loudest, because my hand was on her BOOB!

It was unanimous in our group that Chaos was definitely the best (and the longest to walk through), with Nightmare and Asylum being nowhere near as good. The hayride was more or less a journey through Wal-Mart bought inflated/lighted ghosts, pumpkins and grim reapers, and two guys walking out to harass your group with chainsaws. Zzzzzz.

On with the photoblog......

Scaregrounds ranged from the scary to the bizarre.

Even though the Freddy playground song lyrics is written on different walls as you walk through a boiler room, Mr. Krueger was obviously late to work and wasn't "coming for" anyone.

Jason, however, was there.

A skeleton multi-face hybrid thingie acting out Peter LaBarbera's bondage fantasy.

Delicious.

The psycho clowns scaring some friends of mine:

A rabid little doggie.

Some Hispanic guy killing a blackeyed white girl.

Some bloody imprisoned guy.

Dialogue after taking the previous picture.....

Seth: Did you just take a picture of that girl on the bed?
Me: Yeah.
Both of us: Heh.

A little TOO much Calgon?

This looks like MY kitchen!

Overall, it was a fun night, and we'll have to go back next year!

Mollie's Halloween Costumes

2007-10-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

With the Halloween party less than 2 weeks away, my friends and I have been shopping, planning and preparing. My Great Pyrenees neighbor friend Mollie joined in on the fun, and was trying to decide what to wear to the party.

FrankenMollie:

Mollie Sparrow (from Pyrenees of the Caribbean):