The Story Of Chicken Little Republican

Gather round, "conservative" children - and enjoy my adaptation of this Aesop Fable classic:

CHICKEN LITTLE REPUBLICAN

What was once a peaceful barnyard turned into chaos, when a little busybody named Chicken Little Republican moved into the coop. Chicken Little Republican had no life or hobbies, so he was always starting up shit with the rest of the animals.

It was bad enough that Foxy Loxy was in the area, and everyone was trying to build a fence to keep him out.

Everyone, except Chicken Little Republican. He had an imaginary friend (a talking pig, or something), that "spoke to him", and told him "other things" were more important. Chicken Little Republican also believed that everyone in the barnyard should focus on the "important issues" which his imaginary friend told him to do.

The first issue that Chicken Little Republican raised hell about was "Henny Penny and the other chickens are having abortions", because they had not been laying as many eggs lately.

Because the animals in the barnyard were stupid, Chicken Little Republican informed everyone all about abortions, and had everyone convinced that the hens were, in fact, having abortions.

Then Henny Penny and the other chickens became social outcasts in the barnyard.

What Chicken Little Republican didn't tell them was chickens lay less eggs towards the end of the year, along with daylight savings time - and the current season was fall.

That night, Foxy Loxy easily walked into the barnyard, because everyone was focusing on the hens having "abortions", and they didn't finish the fence to keep him out. Foxy sneaked into a coop, disemboweled Turkey Lurkey, and dragged his dead body to his den.

The next issue that Chicken Little Republican brought up, quite loudly, was his accusation that Ducky Lucky and Cocky Locky were "homosexuals", because they both napped on the same hay stack in the barn.

Again, Chicken Little Republican made up his story as he went along, as he informed the other stupid animals about their horrifying "homosexual relationship" - a relationship so demonic, it could make his imaginary talking pig friend annihilate the entire farm!

This scared everyone in the barnyard, so they turned against Ducky and Cocky, and they became outcasts too.

That night, Foxy Loxy again sneaked into the barnyard, scared Holey Moley into a fatal heart attack, and dragged his body off to his den. Unfortunately the fence was still not yet complete, because the animals were focusing on "homosexuals".

This continued for a long time - Chicken Little Republican accused Goosey Loosey of "being into golden showers", and felt it was very necessary to inform everyone in the barnyard all about animals pissing on each other for pleasure.

This again scared the barnyard, and Goosey joined the outcasts.

It didn't take long at all, before pretty much EVERYONE in the barnyard were social outcasts, except for self-righteous Chicken Little Republican, himself.

That night, everyone in the barnyard teamed up, and knocked Chicken Little Republican the fuck out, totally unconscious.

While he was out, the animals tied Chicken Little Republican to a flagpole in the center of the barnyard, but Cocky Locky didn't think that was quite good enough. So he ran into his coop, returned with paper and a bow, and they gift wrapped the little busybody son-of-a-bitch.

The next morning, by the flagpole, the animals discovered nothing but feathers, a dildo, and also a copy of Trans-sexual Chicks magazine, which both apparently belonged to Chicken Little Republican, and fell out of his pocket as Foxy Loxy was dragging him off to his den.

That day, the animals finished building their fence, and never heard from Foxy, and even better, Chicken Little Republican, ever again. They had better things to focus on, and stupid hysterical busybody shit wasn't one of them.

THE END

Bonnie Is Here

I'll post more pictures later, but I wanted to go on and show you Mollie and Pennie's new little baby sister, as of this past Saturday: Bonnie Blue (a TX state reference). This Pyrenees puppy is also a SPIN rescue.

She's already been trying on the Easter bunny ears:

Mollie, Pennie, and ?

Her name is Bonnie (perfect match); and yes, they're getting a 3rd, and I assume final Great Pyrenees.....for now LOL

Mollie & Pennie: "Born To Be Wild" [YouTube]

Fundie Fun & A Surprise From Wacko Jacko

A little fun for your Wednesday.....

This comic is so true - those who spout anti-gay rhetoric, while calling themselves "normal" (in comparison to the gay community), ALWAYS looks like this bible-thumping kooky bunch.

Sorry guys; believe it or not, I consider myself WAY more normal than some miserable homosex-obsessed inbred hillbilly lunatic, whose 2 favorite quotes are "God hates fags!", and "If you can't fuck yer sister, who CAN you fuck?".

















This picture always cracks me up - the look on the female fundie's face is just priceless:


















Lastly, how would you like to wake up one morning, with this in your MySpace inbox?

Mollie & Pennie: Saga Of The Dirty Rawhide Bone

Being a "pet person", I enjoy hilarious pet stories, and my neighbor friends sent me some new pictures of Mollie and Pennie's hilarious Pyrenees antics from last week. My neighbor followed them with a camera all morning (when they're most hyper and acting silly), as what she described was a "saga" going on the entire time. It's too cute, and I have to pass their story along..........

The day before, Mollie was given a rawhide bone, and Pennie snatched it from her, and buried it outside. Pennie later dug it up, and had it while she and Mollie were wrestling around the next morning (and yes, Jaws has already gotten ahold of the corner of the stairs, as you'll clearly notice):

























Both girls are locked onto the rawhide bone, but Pennie isn't about to give it up. She was chewing on it in front of Mollie, and basically saying "it's mine!", like a kid would do.






















As she was leaving for work, my neighbor called Mollie and Pennie into the bedroom. At some point, Mollie quietly leaves the room, goes into the hallway, and scoops up the bone at the top of the stairs, where Pennie left it.

Realizing what she had forgotten, Pennie gets this "oh shit!" look on her face, and dashes away to get it. She didn't find the bone, but instead Mollie in the closest bathroom, sitting facing the shower, wedged in between a hamper and the toilet, where Pennie couldn't get around her, or anywhere near the bone (note: I'm not going to show off a person's toilet to the world, and erased that out LOL!).

All Pennie could do, was sit behind Mollie and sulk. Obviously the smaller the rawhide bone got, the sadder Pennie got. Awwwww........

































Too cute! If you're not a "pet person", or "dog person", you wouldn't understand!

All Mollie and Pennie posts

Pennie The Piglet Part II

Oh no she didn't! (continued from Part I)

My neighbors are smart to keep older covers over their bed!! Look at the mess she made!

All I can say is it takes a REAL "pet person" to deal with raising a Great Pyrenees. We can't wait until Pennie gets a little older and more laid-back and calmer, like Mollie.

But then again, it's pretty fucking cute and hilarious! They're only a puppy once, have fun with it while it lasts....and if that's not enough, they're considering adopting one last Great Pyrenees, preferably a baby male Pyrenees puppy (a little younger than Pennie, when she was first adopted).

Pennie The Piglet Part I

As I've mentioned several times, my Pyrenees puppy neighbor friend, Pennie, is bad about getting into dirt and mud. My nickname for her is "piglet", and she's worse than Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics.

On Saturday, we had a pretty bad thunder and hail storm - and Pennie obviously had a ball afterwards! My neighbors sent these to share, last night - her muddiest yet! And it gets much worse; I had to split these hilarious pictures into two post volumes (Part II coming soon).

Poor Mollie! She could be bad when she was Pennie's age, but nowhere near as filthy as this little piglet. Even worse that when Pennie gets dirty, she wrestles with Mollie, and gets her dirty too!