Sunday, February 3, 2008

Fundies Say The Darndest Things

Take a look into the creepy minds of fundies and "christian" kooks, over on Fundies Say The Darndest Things - a website which collects some of the most outrageous and hilarious quotes from several of those kooks out there who profess to be "good christians".

After reading some of these "christian" lines from the "top 100 quotes" list, it comes as no surprise to me the reason why people are fleeing from the church and Christianity:

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

This lovely quote is from that old nutball of a coot, Pat Robertson. You know, the same Pat Robertson who aired an "ex-gay" story on the 700 Club recently, which turned out to be bogus - not to mention the "ex-gay" was bipolar and had been kidnapped by those fundies.

Funny how he takes the things the "christians" are doing to minorities, and switching it around as if they're the victims.

As a YouTube favorite of mine, Crosis, said on this issue: "it's not persecution - it's called BACKLASH".

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

Maybe the reason why he's so secretive is because he has a mother who appears to be both a lunatic, and sexually interested in her own son.

"What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay."

Needless to say, the son of this woman actually took his own life. Wanna bet dear ol' mom was pleased as punch over it, so long as her son wasn't a homosexual?

"Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that's not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it's hard not to lust whilst doing it."

Ok, so let me get this straight. It's totally fine to masturbate while I'm thinking about, say, music shopping, the American flag waving in the breeze, or thinking about that delicious white-chocolate mocha I like over at Starbucks?

But I'll go to hell if I'm masturbating to a Mario Lopez-on-Scott fantasy? You're kidding! That's pretty fucked up! I guess I'm going to hell, then, because I'm going to stick with Mario - NOT "how pretty flowers are".

I personally don't find tulips and sunflowers to be all that sexually enticing - nor the prospect of owning a new pet. "Christians" might. Not me! Oh wow, am I SO never trading Mario for flowers or puppies.

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"


"Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish."

The stupidity! The stupid stupidity!

"I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals), since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?"

Wow! I know a few Atheists, and they are very much human - moreso than this so-called "christian" scum. It's not very "christian" to go around saying Atheists "have no value whatsoever as human beings". I thought Christians say EVERYONE is God's children, am I correct on that?

"The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished."

It's not the gays who are doing the "recruiting" - it's people like THIS woman who's doing the promotion for the gay community. Everything else this crazy "christian" bitch said would disgust REAL Christians. And what was that quote from Pat Robertson which I posted above?

"I think there are a lot more cases of people being agnostic or atheistic, but then getting off drugs in order to become Christians. I don't know any Christians who actually do drugs. That to me seems like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into."

I don't know about you, but I know of thousands of so-called "christians" who would be MUCH better off on some kind of medications, or drugs. For one, every "christian" who I've quoted so far are shining examples of why some drugs are good - and honestly, should be mandatory, in these cases especially.

"You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian."

That about sums up most "christians" in name only, huh?

Read these, and more from the "top 100 quotes" list here

FSTDT: February 2008 quotes

Website: Fundies Say The Darndest Things

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