Wednesday, February 6, 2008

What Hell Is REALLY Like

(Here's an old favorite of mine from the original blog.....)

I think it's a good thing that people like Falwell, Chambers, Santorum, Harp, Wildmon, Bennett, Dobson, and these other wastes of flesh have hijacked and claimed Christianity for their own lunatic selves, with their own loony versions of Christianity; and they use it to chase people out of churches everywhere.

I hope this continues, because the loonier they get, the more people who will leave their nutty churches and seek alternate forms of religion and spirituality, or forget religion entirely. It's already happening, and Christianity will eventually become a minority - it's the reason why these nutballs are organizing more and getting louder and crazier (as if that's helping matters any).

These people go around screeching and telling 95% of the people they meet "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!", cursing them with fire and brimstone, no drop of water to cool their tongue, and all this other fucked up shit that could only be made up on an acid trip - which is pretty much spot-on, since most of these guys are obviously on some serious meds.

If you want to get people scared of going to hell (which doesn't exist, by the way), you need to REALLY scare them.

I personally don't believe in hell, but if I did, it would have nothing to do with fire, lava, screaming demons, Satan, and all these other doped-up crock of shit scare tactics.

To me, hell would be like.....

The only music available is country. And not just ANY country music - I'm talking about cousin-fucking redneck anthems like "Chatahoochee", "Watermelon Crawl", "Boot Scootin Boogie", "Achy Breaky Heart", "Strawberry Wine" and the complete Randy Travis catalog.

The only food is brussels sprouts.

The only alcohol is that cheap $6 Puerto Rican rum that'll give you a major fucking hangover the next day.

The only weed is shitty 5 year old stale shake, that won't even give you a buzz!

The only shows on TV are Friends, Wonder Years, Full House, and America's Funniest People (when Dave Coulier was the co-host).

The only movie playing is Brokeback Mountain.

All of the men are caucasian.

Now THAT'S scary!!!!!

The list goes on. I would much rather die and be bug food (the reality of death, and all that happens to you AFTER death) than have to put up with THAT bullshit!

Fuck that! And fuck hell!

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