Monday, November 5, 2007

How To Deal With Men, continued

Actually I had written a "Part II" on the old blog, on abusive boyfriends/husbands, but I've seemed to have lost it. Oh well - I'll repost if I ever run across it.


After writing about my little experience from this past week, it got me thinking of all the other retards I've dealt with in my 10 years of dating and getting to know men. Unfortunately, many are best avoided (if like myself, you prefer drama-free relationships). What "OTHER" types of men are out there which I can discuss today.....


When getting to know a guy, it's always good to hear about his previous relationships, and get to know what he's about, and where he's been.

One of the most frequent issues with men is they seem to be obsessed over an "ex", usually his last relationship. If the guy was burned, it's perfectly fine for him to get it off his chest and discuss it.

The problem begins when he seems to be more interested in his "ex" than he's interested in you. I've been on at least one date where all he talked about was his "ex". He loves the "ex", he hates the "ex". Oh, we can't go to this place, because it reminds him of his "ex". Oh, we can't listen to that song, because it reminds him of his "ex". Don't do this, don't do that, because it reminds him of his "ex". It can sometimes seem like his "ex" is on every corner - in the real world AND in his mind. In most cases, you'll frequently be compared to his "ex", to your face.

Just.....NO!!!!! Until this dumbass can get over his "ex", he has no business going out with you, or anyone else. Nothing is more inconsiderate than some guy casting you into his "ex's" shadow, of which there's really no competition. In 99 out of 100 cases, you'll lose. If the guy is actively pursuing the "ex" while dating you, it's time to send the guy home for good. Please don't waste your time!


When you're dating a guy, at some point, you're going to meet his friends. And that's a good thing, because if you're planning on being around this guy often, you're going to have to deal with these guys too.

I had already been dating this police officer who recently got out of an abusive relationship (and the hilarious thing was HE was the abused!) for a couple months already, when he introduced me to his friends; and we all went out to dinner and an amusement park that night.

As much as I tried to have a good time with everyone, there was one little problem that kept nagging at me the whole time - a friend of his, who looked like that nelly queen from Queer As Folk (Emmett?). That skinny little bitch was staring daggers at me from the moment we met, until the end of the night. Everyone else seemed to like me though - it was just this one queen who had issues, and quite frankly, seemed hellbent on ruining everyone's fun time.

Surprisingly, I have good manners and I'm well behaved in person, at least around people I DON'T know (different story when we become close friends LOL). I didn't give this queen one reason to dislike me, but for some reason, it was obvious he didn't like me. I thought he had a wicked sense of humor, and of course I immediately liked HIM! I assumed it had something to do with him keeping an eye out for his formerly-abused friend - which shouldn't be a problem, because I'd never raise my fist or voice to anyone who doesn't do it to me first!

Our last stop of the night was this queen's house, and I had it all figured out by then: he was a bitchy, single, unhappy, prissy queen who isn't happy unless he's controlling his friends relationships, to his own liking. If the bitch has his mind set that he doesn't like you, then he's never going to like you. You can do backflips, or whatever for him, and still it's not good enough to win brownie points with this queen.

You'll be spending your time trying to please THIS bitch, when you should be spending your time on the guy you're dating. With some of these lonely queens, it's almost like you're dating them, and not the guy who you're supposed to be with.

For me, that's reason enough to kick the guy to the curb. But then again, I try to live life as drama-free as possible; and if your potential man has a good friend who will never accept you for whatever lame reason, then you need to send the guy back to his mom, I mean, his bitchy friend. If the guy won't step in, and tell his friend to back off, consider him a big-time loser who's not worth the effort. Why waste your time on THAT shit?

The funny thing is several years ago, I had a "bitchy friend" too. The bitter single queen was always on a mission to prove my then-boyfriend was cheating; even going as far as trying to seduce him, to prove he was a cheater! He succeeded in ruining that relationship, which he took great pleasure in. After that, I no longer told him the name, or gave him any info on any guy I was talking to. Of course this made him furious.

And guess what happened to him? Curb.

I'm just getting started.....stay tuned for "Volume 3"

More: "How To Deal With Men (Part I)"

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